As you may (unless you have locked yourself in your room and sworn off all forms of media this last week), some in our great Nation are in an uproar regarding the presidential election outcome. The reality of Donald Trump winning the election (290 to 232 in electoral votes & popular votes are TBD) seems to have thrown many into a violent panic. One of the biggest things I have heard is, “We will have a president who is recorded as saying such derogatory things about women. What am I supposed to tell my daughter?”
Like many women, hearing what was presumed to be a private conversation among men many years ago, I cringed at Mr. Trump’s admission. Not only what he said he could do to women—but what he said women would allow him to do. That to me was the saddest part.
I would never want to make excuses for his type of talk though. I would, however, like to give 5 points to ponder as we sort through the media muck—here they are:
- The nature of the rap songs today.
Women are generally not spoken about in rap music or viewed in a respectful manner in rap videos. This has been the case for decades. As involved parents raising a daughter, we most certainly should have conversations about their worth and value in society; rather than allowing them to view themselves in the way the rap industry views them—which is obviously much less.
- A prior sitting president in the past (Mr. Clinton) who lied under oath after having an affair with a young intern.
Considering what Mr. Clinton did to a young intern, and reportedly countless others, and then followed it up with a lie under oath, I am pretty sure we should have some good speaking points we can reference regarding a presidents demeaning behavior towards women.
- Today’s culture of abortion on demand, sex taught in schools, “booty calls” and “friends with benefits”.
In my opinion, women have been getting abused and taken advantage of for decades under the guise of “women’s liberation”. Our culture has done a very good job of conditioning women into the belief that for us to really “measure up to men and be a true equal” we need to be able to have lots of sex whenever and with whomever we want; that sex is a meaningless act with no psychological, emotional or relational aftereffects. And if the consequence is an unexpected pregnancy, then by golly, we should be able to walk away from that responsibility by way of abortion just as men can walk away, because after all—it’s a woman’s right. Am I right?
- The rampant and prevalent world of pornography.
Not only are women being sold a bill of goods by completely missing of the mark in women’s liberation, but we now have pornography to compete with. The days are among us my friends where men (granted women do as well but on a lesser scale) can view sexual acts anytime, anywhere. You can’t drive down the street without seeing a women being objectified on a billboard sign in her undergarments. I can talk for hours about the harmful effects of pornography on so many levels, but for the sake of this particular post, I will leave it with saying that studies show men who view pornography on a regular basis have very little respect for women and expect women to perform more in the bedroom to reach the level of satisfaction and pleasure they are used to with pornography. The acts and detachment that pornography brings is so damaging, not only for men (studies show the addiction is related to that of heroin), but for women—those behind the camera and those involved with the men viewing it.
- Our current president and Mrs. Clinton, both have spoken at events of one of the biggest abusers of women—Planned Parenthood.
This administration and Mrs. Clinton make it no secret that they are huge supporters of Planned Parenthood and abortion. “God bless Planned Parenthood” is what our current president said at the closing of his speech during one of the organizations events in 2013. To me, this is a tougher discussion with my daughter than any other. To have a president, and another who is running to be his successor, praise a place that takes advantage of women in vulnerable positions and believes it is OK to take the life of another human being (and all the way up to the time of that child’s day of birth, mind you) is reprehensible.
Bottom-line: Regardless of whether it is because of some former tasteless comments of our soon to be president; the despicable actions of a sitting president; or the promotion of a dangerous woman-hating organization by our current administration and his party’s presidential candidate—we need to be engaging in ongoing, healthy discussions with our daughters.
They need to grow up in a home where they are taught things like:
- Respecting their bodies
- Behaving admirably
- Developing an honorable character
- Having unwavering confidence in their morals and beliefs
- Knowing how to establish and maintain boundaries on ways in which they deserve and should demand being treated
Because if we don’t teach them these things, today’s declining culture of chaos will not.